Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Say something about gay babies.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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