and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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