he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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