It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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