Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
