Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize