Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
