good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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