i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
