She is in my trunk
there's paper in my vomit.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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