Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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