FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
