theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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