How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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