I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
