My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize