when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
