You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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