operation have a gay friend backfired
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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