the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
please don't ironically join a cult
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