We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
