a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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