Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize