i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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