why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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