He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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