ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i think i have two assholes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
