im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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