Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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