forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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