Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
