He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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