A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
