I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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