we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
