i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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