what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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