Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
