I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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