omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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