i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize