She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
