im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
