Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
