some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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