think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
