His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize