he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
