he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
