i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
