we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
