GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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