Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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