i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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