Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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