we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
