It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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