'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
