Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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