problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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