i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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